Stupid things smart people say

Gajodhar walks into the double bedded E Block hostel straight into my room. The room is well ventilated. Properly lit.Doors wide open. He sees me playing counterstrike. He knows perfectly how important this is to me.
( 5 Bots against one human player
map = aim_headshot
mode = expert)
And then he defies all logic and asks "Sangatha hai kya? " (Is Sangatha here?)
So why the hell does he sulks away pissed off, when After checking inside the cupboard, below the cot, inside my pocket , under the mousepad I finally reply "Nahin, lagta hai Sangatha room main nahin hai :)" (seems like Sangatha is not here)
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We work in a group in Machines Lab on some mundane experiment that basically requires us to take a few readings of the Motor speed and Voltmeter and plot them on the graph paper and erase the points that don't lay on the plotted curve to get more marks :) ,
all of a sudden a girl from the next group comes and asks for a pen.
Well not only does she asks for it, she asks very politely. In Hindi "Excuse me, thoda sa pen de sakte ho please?"
(literally translated that'd mean, excuse me, can you give a bit of the pen please ?)
I slowly unscrew the pen and give her the refill with a grin. "Ye lo thoda sa pen" . She storms away and doesn't find it funny at all. Neither do my group mates.

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My friend (who's exactly my-kind-of-guy , counter strike playing and wise crack spewing) and me are eating silently in the Food Court. Its a weekend and understandably crowded. There are a few empty chairs near the table we sit at. And then this couple gets inside Food Court. The girl is smoking Hawt. The guy is tall , with a T shirt that screams "Lee" (we're like kiski lee??) side burns, goatee, piercing on the eye brows. iPod half jutting out of his jeans. Pretty much loaded we guess. The kind of guy who'd start all his sentences with "Dude" and sprinkle liberal ammount f**k in between

He looks at the empty chairs and then at us. "Dude (see i told you :) ) is there anybody sitting over here ?"
My pal replies "No, I don't think I can see one"
He then rephrases the question "Was there anyone sitting over here?"
Pat came the reply "Yeah I guess someone sat here"
"No Dude I mean will anyone be sitting over here ?"

This time we pay the bill and almost ready to go. Stare at the hawt chick (for the records she seemed totally uninterested) "Well its a chair you see , so we guess some one will sit here"
:)
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PS: names borrowed from Raju Srivastav to protect privacy